Modern Success

So many blah blah blah that you can’t hear a thing.   

So many lalala its hard to hear them sing.                 

The city lights are so bright that the stars cannot be seen.                                                                                       

Workers work so hard, but they don’t make a thing. Cars so fast and filthy, food is just the same.             

You wake, but still asleep, continuing the game. Crowded streets full of strangers, cribs abandoned for a job.                                             

Married, not in love and your friends are just a mob.

Wandering of the tongue, it just won’t slow down.

Your mind on autopilot, why won’t you shut your mouth.                                                                                               

I offered you my gardens, my table, and my house.

But you ran to the gutter, and you shove garbage in your mouth.                                                                                     

I gave you a future, a way, and a name.

But you ran into the desert, to die among the snakes.

*NEW* Christian artists page!

Here is where aspiring Christian artists can have their links posted for free! It will take three or four days for me to post your stuff, so be patient. Use the contact form to request a free posting. These posts will most likely stay up forever. Include your links, what pic I can use, and a brief chat for me to post as an artist bio/highlight.

This is for any Christian artist. If you paint, make music, create internet content, etc.

Much love!

Christian Artists

The Charge

The Charge of the Light Brigade
Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
“Forward, the Light Brigade!
“Charge for the guns!” he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

“Forward, the Light Brigade!”
Was there a man dismay’d?
Not tho’ the soldier knew
Someone had blunder’d:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley’d and thunder’d;
Storm’d at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.

Flash’d all their sabres bare,
Flash’d as they turn’d in air,
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wonder’d:
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro’ the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reel’d from the sabre stroke
Shatter’d and sunder’d.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley’d and thunder’d;
Storm’d at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro’ the jaws of Death
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wondered.
Honor the charge they made,
Honor the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred.

The Grind

In 2015, I inexplicably developed severe carpal tunnel in both arms, which made it almost impossible for me to work. Eventually, at the beginning of 2016, my arms finally gave out completely in the middle of painting a product. I was forced to stop working. Since then, I tried another job for a month but was summarily released from duty.  I have now begun to attempt to make money the only way I possibly can, which is online. The income seems to be incredibly small at this point. All I can hope for and strive for is enough money to get through the month. Pay the bills, feed myself.

I have spent a lot of time over the last two years reflecting on how I could have changed even the most minute actions in my life that would have prevented this from occurring. Of course, as a self-reflective type of person, I attempted to blame myself for it all. There has to some explanation or course alteration that led to this. What mistakes did I make? As much as I wanted to find myself the culprit, I couldn’t locate any reasonable evidence that it was all my fault.

Growing up with my dad, I was taught to respond to events and circumstances as generating from three potential sources. The origin of a problem could be God, people (self included), or satan. I always tended to attribute anything great to God, of course, and anything bad to satan. But my first gut reaction is to find myself the culprit.

After pondering this through self-introspection, counseling, and the influence of people that know me well, I have finally arrived at a reasonable conclusion. I blame all three.

How am I going to survive like this? I really don’t have the slightest clue. I am trudging along, taking stabs at everything in hopes of creating a system of income to lift me out of the rut. If God caused this, once I finally figure out the lesson, He will take care of the logistics. If satan caused this, I really have no idea how or why he could do so unless it’s a sort of similarity to what happened to Job in the Bible, then all I can do is wait for God to crush him and free me from the travail. If I caused this, all I can do is appeal to God for mercy and do everything possible to fix it.

Struggling through everyday pain caused by fibromyalgia, degenerative disk disease, acute photophobia, carpal tunnel, and some other more minor symptoms, it is with great difficulty that I actually make it through each day. The side effects include clinical depression, which only aggravates the entire scenario. Issues with my digestive system have a negative impact on my sleep habits, and then vice versa, bad sleep has a negative impact on digestive health. It is a downward swirl, and it seems to have no end other than, at this point, a very welcome death.

I have this one hope, that I am not left alone to suffer and die, leaving zero positive impact on the world. No matter how this plays out, I am endeavoring to accomplish something that will leave a legacy for future generations to benefit from.

Are you experiencing something similar? I know a lot of people in worse conditions than myself. If you have a story to tell, email it to me from the contact page. I will edit it and post it as a follow-up here.

Thanks for reading. Be blessed and keep your head up, no matter how dark the skies and fiery the ground.

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